Criticizing Beliefs

As I am sitting here indulging in my pregnancy craving of strawberries I realized that it had been a while since I had written a “getting to know us” type post.  Perfect timing! Over the past month the decisions that HD and I have made as parents have been called into question. They were questioned heavily when we found out I was pregnant with number three and before that they were questioned after Little M was born and I was convinced that something was not right with him. I was right, by the way.

I'm in love with this area!
I’m in love with this area!

If you can think of it then I have probably heard it. Criticism on everything from how we feed to what we name our kids to how many possessions we have in our house. While none of this is their business I take the opinions of others very hard. I have since I was a little girl. Growing up I have had to learn how to still be able to make my own decisions despite what others think. That doesn’t mean that the opinions don’t get to me though. There have been many nights and days and lunch hours spent sobbing into HD’s shoulder over something that was said to me regarding various things he and I agreed to do a certain way.

So what do we believe? I may have crunchy Momma tendencies but I would not consider myself a crunchy momma at all. Not all of my homemade ideas are because “x” things are bad for us.  My main reason behind it is the potential to save money. From that it has grown into something more, something bigger. I thought for sure that if we started making more food at home that it would save us money in addition to helping us lose weight because we were cutting out a bunch of the additives and preservatives. I dabbled in cloth diapering because it was said to save a ton of money.

Pretty scenery that I took on a weekend drive
Pretty scenery that I took on a weekend drive

My family and I have our beliefs that are not taken from exclusively one side of the family or another. We have quite literally melded our beliefs. Not only have we melded beliefs but we have adopted new ones. Some of these go against what our parents think but that is okay. We are different people and raising our family in a different time with different mix of personalities. One person did point out that our friends and family cared enough to voice their thoughts and give input.

Input and feedback is great. Telling us, even if not in so many words, that we are doing everything wrong. What happened to building new parents up? What happened to constructive criticism? Heck, some people that have felt the need to vocalize their thoughts could even follow the, it’s not life threatening so let them learn from experience, idea.

How do you handle unsolicited criticism? or harsh criticism?

 

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2 Comments Add yours

  1. Everyone always seems to think they are doing it better. When my daughter was an infant, she was super colicky. I never slept. I rocked her and bounced her all night. I was often scolded by a friend that I was creating a spoiled baby and I should let her cry it out. I did not believe in this. I don’t pass judgment on those that use this method , but I didn’t believe a child at this small age could be spoiled. She needed comfort and I gave it. I brushed off the critical comments and continued with what I felt worked best for us. Like you said input is great and many times I will take advice, but to blatantly say you are doing it wrong is a bold statement. As long as you are keeping your child safe, healthy, nourished, nurtured and loved, the method in which you do it is your own business. I wish I had had the patience to do the cloth diapers, but I was too lazy to be honest. Perhaps others criticize as a way to defend their own parenting because you are doing it just right. 🙂

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  2. Maniac Mom says:

    Don’t let them bring you down, hun. I’m sure they’ve heard the same criticism from their parents and may feel like it’s some unwritten right of passage. I’m having the same trouble. I just stand my ground, flip them off, and walk away.

    Loves!

    Like

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