No this isn’t about vaccines. That’s an opinion for a different day and different post. This is about judging. Specifically the judgement of mommies. I had seen from a couple of friends mentions of all the mommy-shaming going on but I hadn’t really experienced it much nor did I see it much. I had one run in when I announced Pirate M’s name. Since then I hadn’t really noticed much going on. Until recently.
The number of comments from friends about mommy judging has increased and now I have even experienced a few bouts of this mommy judging. The other thing we are seeing more of? Arguments between working moms and SAHM as to which is hardest, staying home with the kids or working while raising kids. There is just one thing I have to say to that disagreement. Stop it. Just. Stop. They each have their easy parts and each have their difficulties. The challenges are also different from person to person and family to family. This is not a one size fits all situation. Support your friends and acquaintances no matter what they choose because it is never easy.
Now for some of this I can only speak to myself but I am not a helicopter parent. I know my kids and know what they are capable of. Many think that I hold my kids to expectations that are too high. It doesn’t stop there though. I have been chastised for everything under the sun recently. The funny part? I am a Mom of THREE boys. With some of the comments I have gotten you would think I was a first time mom stumbling my way through everything. Even if I were a first time mom some of these comments are unnecessary! Why do people assume the FTM’s know nothing of how to raise their kids? Does mommy intuition not exist anymore? Can we not just let them be unless they are about to seriously endanger their baby or they ask for help?
Never was the sentiment, “Everyone has an opinion and they all stink,” more true than when it is concerning moms. The worse that I have seen thus far? The accusation that SAHM are anti-feminists. Say WHAAAA?!?!? Just because I chose to raise my kids means that I must hate working women and all the progress that has been made thus far with regards to women’s rights. Let me tell you a secret. Okay, it’s not actually a secret but that is besides the point. It is something that I have not really talked about here before. Ready?
Before I was a SAHM I worked. In fact I was really good at my job and being put up for early promotion and awards. I left it all behind to take care of my new baby. It was the hardest decision I had to make in a long while. I cried for nights over it. I cried for days after I was done working. I even tried to go back to work but wasn’t able to make it work for me to go back. Oh is that not good enough for the feminists out there? Let me take it one step further. I was serving in the military.
Still think I hate working women?
I said that this is becoming an epidemic. I say this because we are seeing more and more of it everyday. People can’t accept that there is more than one way to do things. The mommies that you should be able to turn too are the ones making you feel like you should be accepting Worse Mom of the Year Award. Please stop the shaming and the judging. Open your minds that there is more than one way to do things. More than one way to raise a child and just because Suzy down the street doesn’t it a little differently doesn’t make her a bad mom or woman hater. It makes her Suzy, someone who could use your friendship and support.