No this is not a post about sex or any of that madness going around right now. This is a post of a different color. All to often we hear about our kids falling through the cracks. We hear about people with depression falling through the cracks. What happens when a kid falls through the cracks and then continues to hide in the cracks as an adult?
Through no fault of anyone this happened to HomemadeDady. When he was tested as a child he came up negative. It is important to note that he was involved in sports teams from a young age. In high school he participated in multiple sports. Things change once you leave high school. In his case he went straight into a job and soon after he got a job we met and got married. I was working when we got married so we had a good first year, comparatively, in hindsight.
To be completely raw and transparent, we have had a rough (almost!!) 7 years of marriage. There have been a lot of disagreements and talk of whether or not we should stay together. There have also been secrets. Over the last year or so I have been talking with friends and family and trying to figure out what was going on with us. First thing identified was that I have some form of depression. Our problems went deeper than that though. Also, this post isn’t about me.
So many ideas were tossed around but none of them fit HD. Everything from PTSD to “it’s just his personality” to he is fine and I need to suck it up and fix myself. I’m not sure why I hadn’t thought of this earlier but I was struck by an idea one day while texting my WONDERFUL mother-in-law. What if HD had Adult ADD/ADHD? I asked her about it. She enthusiastically agreed that it was a possibility. We talked about the signs and symptoms and I couldn’t believe how many of them lined up with HomemadeDady. So many of the things I had used to describe his personality through the years could actually be a sign of ADD/ADHD. Even the addiction problem we had been thinking needed addressing could be a sign of ADD/ADHD. Talk about finding the light at the end of the tunnel.
HD got home from work that day and I brought up the idea with him. After all if we were going to get help he had to be involved in the process. Together we sat down and went over several lists of signs and symptoms. He even agreed with many of the signs especially after reading different ways they present themselves in people. I had convinced him enough that he agreed to coming up with a plan of action. There were two basic options. Go to a medical doctor or go to a counselor or psychiatrist. This decision had to be left up to HD so I didn’t even think about what I wanted or would do in his position. I jut made sure to encourage him to make a decision.
Coming up soon he has another appointment. Come back to see what the outcome is and what we end up doing with the information given.
Have you or someone you love had ADD/ADHD? What about adult ADD/ADHD?