When Homemade No Longer Means Stay-At-Home

Happy Weekend to all my wonderful readers!

It’s been a while. Way too long. What can I say except there has been a lot going on and a lot of changes.

As you may have guessed by the title I am no longer a Stay At Home Mom. This fact kills me. My PirateM, my baby is being raised by another person. At least he gets to stay home and be with his siblings. That is little comfort. I still have some control over what they eat. This is little comfort. There is one day a week where I usually never see him. I leave for work before he gets up and don’t get home until he is in bed. It eats away at me every week.

My job isn’t that bad. I am the assistant to an accounting firm. On days when I don’t have any other work to do except to monitor the phones and e-mail they let me read or color. They do team building days, snack days and this last week bought ice cream sundae makings for everyone.  The employees have free soda, water and coffee provided and very flexible hours. My hours aren’t as flexible but they are understanding for appointments and meetings and family life. I couldn’t ask for a much better office.

While we didn’t want to admit it, this has been a better move for the family. The change has been hard on all of us. HomemadeDady has had to step up and do more around the house. He gets to play SAHD once a week as well. Being up and going for 12 hours in a day has taken a serious toll on me and I barely make it to dinner time. In fact, some nights I don’t. I fall asleep before dinner.

I have had to let go of my extreme need to clean. There are always dishes in the sink and messes to clean but I am making a better life for my kids. Eventually. As I told the interviewers. I am now searching for a job because our family dynamic has changed, our situation has changed and it is time for me to rejoin to workforce for now. May be one day I can be a stay-at-home-mom again but for now my place is at work.

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