To kick off my Mom-day interview series I turned to a dear friend of mine who I knew would be candid and real with ya’ll. Boy did she prove me right! We talked about what her birth experiences were like from having an emergency cesarean birth to having a planned one. Read on and lets break the stigma and mom-shaming together!
How many children do you have? Ages?
I have 2. One is 3.5 and the other is 3 months.
What do you appreciate most about your children?
The love and joy they have for everything. Everything is new and exciting to them and its wonderful seeing things through their eyes.
What is a struggle you have regarding motherhood?
Worrying if I’m good enough, and doing a good job.
Do you have any hobbies?
Do you have a favorite recipe?
I like to bake recipes from the Pioneer Woman cookbooks.
What was the biggest difference between your two births?
The biggest difference was being more educated and more prepared for the second c-section. I didn’t pay any attention in birthing class to the part about c-sections because I was so sure on a natural birth. I then had to have one, and was totally clueless on what they were doing. The second time around I felt more in charge and knew what I wanted and didn’t want.
What did you do differently to prepare for the second birth?
To prepare for the second birth I read about “soft c-section” or “family c-section”. I also talked to my doctor about doing things differently this time. She understood that my first c-section caused my post partum depression so she understood and agreed to do things differently this time.
What were some recovery lifesavers for you?
Big pants (and underwear!) When you have a c-section the scare is basically where your underwear hits, and you don’t want anything touching it. Underwear and pants that you can pull up like grandma are a must. Sleeping on a recliner is also a must because you can’t get in and out of bed. You don’t realize how much you use your abdominal muscles until you have surgery on them.
Why did you request skin-to-skin in the OR?
I talked to my doctor about this at my first ob appointment. She already knew that my first c-section caused my ppd, and that things needed to be different this time. Being able to see your baby right after they pull them out and being able to “hold” them immediately is the most amazing feeling. When I had my first they pulled her out, cleaned her off, wrapped her in a blanket, put a hat on her and handed her to my husband. All I got to see was her face and then they left to the nursery and I was wheeled to the recovery room. I didn’t realize it at the time, but it was awful. That is not the way anyone should give birth. The second time they lifted him above the curtain so I could see him and then they laid him on me skin to skin so I could hold him and feel him. It changed everything. I finally had “that moment” that was taken from me with my first birth. I finally had the bonding moment I desperately needed. I blame myself for not researching anything the first time, but I also blamed my doctor and the hospital for the way they acted. My doctor told me when I was pregnant the second time that herself and the hospital where working together to do more immediate skin to skin. Now I tell everyone I know that’s pregnant, do your research!!
If you were to become pregnant again would you do anything differently i.e. VBAC, mother assisted delivery etc.?
I wanted to do a vbac with my second but the only hospital that does them is 40 minutes away and has a horrible reputation. I don’t think I’m comfortable trying for a vbac if I have a third, I would have another c section.
How long was your recovery?
I was moving around and pretty much pain free by 2 weeks. I had to be careful though, too much walking would make things sore.
What do you wish you had known the first time?
I wish I would have known all my options. I should have researched c-sections and been prepared just in case.
Can you tell a little bit of what the delivery was like for you? Pain, feelings, process?
You want to know what c-sections are like? They suck. The doctors make you walk into the operating room. Once they give you the numbing shot in your spine (I will never forget that pain) they lay you on a table that has places where they strap your arms down. You are stressed out worrying that you will feel everything and that they will start before your body goes numb. You can feel all the pushing and pulling they are doing, it just doesn’t hurt. It’s the most uncomfortable feeling.